Leave it to the Professionals.......

Ok, to the faint of heart, just want to let you know that this story may cause you to feel faint. Now, this story was sent to me through an e-mail and thought that because waxing is one of my professional duties I would share this story with you. This is why I have titled this one "leave it to the professtionals"

Also you will have a good laugh!!!! Since our theme for this week is laughter, I thought I would include this story in my blog.





My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, playwith the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So, I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those"cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. how hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold Wax",yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next strip I move North.

After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering half of my *hoo hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek ( Yes it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself...RRRRIIIIPPP!!!!!!! I'm blind!!!!!! Blinded from the pain!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull half the strip.) CRAP!!! Another deep breath and... RRRIIPP!!! (Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I might pass out...must stay conscious... Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe... OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy-a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX!!!!!????? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!! (I hear the slamming of a cell door.) My *Hoo-Hoo*??? Sealed shut!! My Butt??? Sealed shut!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, " Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head might pop off!!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand in the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than used to torture prisoners of war or sterize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good converstaion starter~ "So, my Butt and my Hoo Hoo are glued together to the bottom of the tub!!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo hoo?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! RIGHT!!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking to me when I finally see my saving grace... the lotion they give you to remove excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and..."OH...MY...GOSH!!!!!!!!" The scream probably woke the kids and scared the heck out of my friend. It's sooooo painful, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!!! It works!!! I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Above & Beyond.......

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” (Ephesians 3:20).

God is able to do more than you could ever ask or imagine! But notice that this verse says it’s according to the power that is at work within you. How does God’s power work within you? God’s power works in you when you are walking in love. God’s power is at work in you when you choose to forgive those who have wronged you. God’s power is at work in you when you bow before Him with a humble heart. He is at work in you when you are serving others by putting their needs above your own. Remember, God wants to move on your behalf. He loves to bless you! Choose today to let God’s power work in and through you! As you allow Him to work in your life, He promises blessing beyond your wildest dreams! He will do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine. He’ll cause you to live the abundant life He has in store for you!
**from Joel Olsteen's devotional.

Blessings to you all today!!!!!!!

Are you LOW!!????

Well girls, I am finally writing this story. Rhonda, Shari, Roxanne and I went to here Mary Audrey Raycroft on Sat over in the county. We decided to go for lunch before heading to the meeting. We found the perfect spot, we went in and settle in for a great lunch. As we sat in the bright eating area, we enjoyed looking at the menu and deciding what would be great for lunch. The server came over and were telling us the fine specials for the day. Well Shari, asked how much one of the specials was. The server said let me check and I will get right back to you, after she left, Shari asked if that was proper to ask what the price was, I said if you have to ask then you can't afford it. She comes back and says, "it comes to $10.17 with tax, are you low"? Well, Shari was stunned and wasn't sure what she meant, do I look like I am having a bad day? The server said, " we can adjust the price if your low". Basically saying that if she didn't have the money to spend on lunch than she could probably work out something for her to have lunch. Well, we had a great laugh about that. The server told us of a couple that had come in for Valentine's day and the man ask everytime they order something how much it was with taxes. How would you have liked for him to take you out? Anyway, after that we decided this was a blog story, I of course grabbed it since I need to blog about something.

So girls I hope I did justice to this story, I think though that it won't be as funny as being there, I think you will agree. It was a great day for having lunch in the county and going to here a great speaker, Great food, fellowship and of course fun. The company was great, and we will have to do that again. Hopefully next time, more can come and join in the fun. So I guess I have to ask, is anyone low?

Laughter, it is good for the soul!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Shari.......

I just want to take this opportunity to say what a blessing it is to have you in my life, and how much I appreciate your friendship.

I want to honour you on your "Birth"-day.

I also want to say that "you are blessed among women".

So here's to you Shari..... Be blessed, honoured and cherished today!!!

Love you lots, Tammy